Monday, January 24, 2011

The Star

Note: I am well aware that the subject matter of this poem may cause concern for my wellbeing. I would assure my readers that the piece was an exercise in venting pent-up anxiety and nothing more.

I am so sorry
That I could not be
The things that You hoped for
That You gave to me

I am so sorry
That I fell so short
My voyage was wayward
And soon will abort

It's not that I'm thankless
For soul-shaking flights
For glorious sunshine
And probing starlight

It's just that those diamonds
Made me search within
And witness a struggle
I'm never to win

The truth that they showed me
Was too much to bear
So stark and unsettling
In their gorgeous glare

I am a dark hole in
A sky filled with white
I'll not shine and glimmer
Though so hard I fight

I don't understand why
You set me apart
Perhaps I am weaker
And fainter of heart

Much ligher than You thought
More craven as well
With more mournful sorrow
Than I've words to tell

I'm sorry to do this
I'm sorry to go
But each day erodes me
And carries me low

I wanted to join with
The rest of your stars
And glow the way they do
So bright from afar

Do you know what it's like
How it makes me cry
To look like no other
You've put in the sky?

I wish for but one thing
To be as they are
Undamaged and normal
An ordinary star

It's all that's worth having
It's all I can't have
The star that's denied it
Is bound to go bad

I know that I'm awful
But I can no more
Endure all this sadness
All this hurt ignore

I ask Your forgiveness
Your mercy and might
As a single black star
Burns out in the night

4 comments:

Harley said...

*HUG*

This was a bit of a downer! Hope it served as a release valve for those pent-up feelings. I've a new blog now so you see I couldn't stay away for long!

laura b. said...

Glad you posted a note before the poem. While it is quite touching and heartfelt, yes it could be a bit alarming. I use poetry in a similar way though...just letting myself feel what I need to feel.

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I'm really glad you posted the disclaimer. You just need to remember that ordinary isn't all that great...in the long run, it is better to be different!

Madame DeFarge said...

Yup, glad about the disclaimer too. I hope that some of the sadness dissipates soon. Take care.