Monday, May 4, 2009

The Good Side

Switching blogs was a difficult decision for me to make, as I knew in doing so I'd be leaving behind a large portion of my readership and sacrificing, in part, the history that I've built over the last year.

There are, however, positive aspects to what's happened.

When I first began blogging last April, my enthusiasm led me to share details of the project with people around me. It wasn't long before mostly everyone knew I had a blog, even if they didn't know exactly where to find it, and what was meant to be a private aspect of my life became public knowledge.

Had friends and family been ignorant of my activities, it may be that I would still be operating at my old address without problems. I'm not, though. Because of my own careless mistake, I've been driven away from BlackenedBoy, from the digital home that was mine for thirteen months.

I did not leave without taking several important lessons with me, though.

This time, my blog will be what it was always supposed to be: a personal place, an escape that no one else knows about.

After the incident with Anne's family I made a very public display of throwing my hands up, announcing I'd taken down my old site, and swearing off future blogging.

When friends and family suggested I make a different one, I answered in disgust that I'd worked on the old one for a year and didn't have the heart to start anew.

"It's not worth the drama," I told one co-worker.

So far as any of them know, this place does not exist. And for however long I am here, for however long BB continues, they'll never find out. What hurt the most was lying to my friends, people who care for me and urged me not to let Anne's relatives take away something I enjoyed so much.

It's the only way, though. The conclusion I've reached is that, if I'm to ever have the absolute freedom that is my only option here, I will have to sever BB from the real world. From now on, he will be my secret, and the observations he makes are incognito reporting. I'm going undercover.

It actually feels nice, cool, to have a part of myself that is kept away from everyone else. It's a bit like being a covert agent.

Most bloggers who run into personal trouble do so because they blab, as I did. That is a mistake I will never make again.

In keeping with this new policy, I want you all to know that I have decided to remain at my current profile. I wouldn't have asked your advice if I didn't intend on listening to it, and your consensus on the issue seemed pretty decisive.

As for my readership, it will return. I built a following before, and I will build one again. Plus, as several of you pointed out, the really important people tagged along with me.

As it is now, after three days on a new page I have hits from three different continents and over sixty profile views. That seems like a pretty good start.

Thank you for hanging on, and for making this easier.


jo(e) said...

I have to say that I like how positive the new pseudonym is.

BrightBoy said...

So glad to get a comment from you.

Beth said...

Good decision - you are now free to write whatever you like. Looking forward to future posts from BrightBoy!

The Archduchess said...

You now have a blank page and absolute freedom. Here you will be neither judged nor hurt.
I look forward to reading you!

otherworldlyone said...

I do so love being important.

New site = new fun! Bring on the blogging!

Sally-Sal said...

I've started mine over two or three times. Mostly because of my sister-in-law. She's nosy, and likes to read about my life without actually being in it.
Finally, I just decided 'fuck it'. Let her read it, if she doesn't like it, she can go watch another lifetime movie.

BerryBird said...

I think it was a good choice to make a clean break -- for peace of mind alone. I was worried about the Google searches, but you've got that covered. My experience is that people who find blogs by searching for random things rarely stick around anyway, as they are task oriented and not looking for a good read or community. I wonder how you feel about us readers updating our blogrolls to list this new site? Do you think think that is safe, or should we wait awhile?

BrightBoy said...


I would give it like a week just to be on the safe side. I seriously doubt that whoever this is took the time to snoop on my readers as well.

Just don't list me as "BlackenedBoy's new site" or something like that.

I'll be happy when I'm in the blogrolls again, because then more people will find out about me!

Rachel said...

hey heres to new beginings. :) the name suits you, too.

Nashe^ said...

Whoa. Drama, eh.

Bee said...

It's such a dilemma, isn't it? My family (and many friends) know about my blog -- which is great -- but it does really restrict what I can write about sometimes.

I hope you find freedom here.

we_be_toys said...

Love the new name, even if the circumstances that led to it aren't as bright. Onward and upward, eh?
Sounds like you're doing your best to transcend the vipers and the pit - good on ya!

BerryBird said...

I already deleted the old non-functioning blogroll link. I'll add one for BrightenedBoy next week or so.

Electronic Goose said...

I've had similar issues. I don't feel like I can be as open when I'm being read by people I know in "real" life. And that's sad. The sad truth.