Selected Entries: June, 2003

This month's selected entry comes from June 18, 2003. It was the day that Pie was born. At the time, I was fifteen, Powell was thirteen, and Thomas was eight.

June 18, 2003

“Pie has arrived,” were the words that greeted my rising this morning.

It was the first statement that I heard. It was what I woke up to.

I exclaimed, “Is it a girl?”

Powell said that yes, it was a girl. In my excitement I ran to the kitchen and picked up the telephone, where my father had just called. We were able to speak for a few moments about the baby before the conversation became awkward, artificial, and dry. Grand Ma, Grand Pa, Powell, and I went in the early afternoon to the Beautiful County Hospital to visit the new child.

I was in disbelief. Such a great happiness wasn’t possible. I couldn’t believe that it was really a girl. Even up until the very birth, the child’s gender was in doubt. My father frightened my mother be exclaiming, “It’s a boy!” when Pie’s head was brought out. As the rest of her body emerged, however, the gender became clear. Pie Our Family is a beautiful baby girl.

I held her. I was terrified that I would drop her, and her little head had to be supported just so, otherwise it would just fall back, because she has no muscles to support her neck. She’s adorable. She was so serene and pure and innocent that it melted my heart to look at her, and holding her was an incredible experience. I felt such a love already for this small child, as if she was my own.

She was born at 8:09a.m. on June 18, 2003 (today), weighing 11lbs, 8oz, and she was nineteen inches long. It is incredible that there can be such an innocent creature, such an oblivious, carefree, wonderful being of life. At the same time I thought of Pie’s future. I hope that she’ll be smart and pretty. She has my father’s nose, so she may already be doomed there, but I hope not. I don’t want her to be a dork; I want her to be happy and be able to socialize and be satisfied with her appearance. However, I don’t want her to be like so many teenage girls who drink and do drugs and have sex. I want her to have high intelligence and to be able to utilize that intelligence and be extremely successful with it. I want her to strive to do well in school. I will pray for her extensively. I want her to be so unconditionally happy and successful.

We’ve already thought of a new diminutive for her: “Baby Bear.” Because Mom is “Mama Bear,” I figured that it worked. I still think Name-I-Chose is prettier than "Pie," but she's not my baby. Thank goodness they picked Pie's Middle Name as the middle name, because it’s so fun to spell. Dad wanted her middle name to be “Lukayan Sky.” Thank God for Mom.

Both she and Pie will be coming home on Saturday. I like Pie; it’s a unique name. I can’t wait until the baby is crawling about the house, laughing and smiling and giggling. Of course, there will be crying, but it will be primarily my parents’ responsibility to deal with matters like that. I’m so happy that they’ll have to invest so much of their attention to the baby; it should diverge it from me. Not all of it, but just enough so that they don’t nag quite so much. We will be expected to change diapers and held a lot more, but I really don’t mind. The baby will only wear diapers for so long, and if she ever does have accidents it soon becomes inappropriate for a boy to change a girl’s diaper.

Plus, I’ll be gone by the time that she’s five years old. It makes me a bit sad to realize that I won’t be around to watch her grow up. I’ll still try to be a very positive influence on her life.