Sunday, March 31, 2019

'Round the Unexpected Turns

I'm a planner. Always have been. That stems, I think, from the fact that I am also a worrier, and that from childhood I've been plagued by these episodes of spiralling what-ifs wherein I envision every dark and nightmarish scenario that could play out in my life. That's why I maintained full auto coverage on a twelve-year-old car everyone told me was a clunker. It's why I insure every single flight I take. It's why I double-check locks, memorize phone numbers, and make those doctor's visits sooner rather than later. It's why I plan. The planning makes me feel better; it provides contingencies and, what's more, it provides purpose.

But I've also learned, amply, that the plans sometimes have a way of falling off as life paves unexpected paths. Who would have ever thought, for instance, that I'd be in Alaska? Certainly not me.

I spent most of the spring semester laying carefully constructed itineraries for a summer spent living and working in a tropical country many miles from here, only to have my hand forced by flaky landlords and evasive prospective employers. Unwilling to book air passage across an ocean with neither housing nor work lined up, I instead paid for a flight headed the other way. 


Home, which I miss so much.

"I'm excited to see you," I told my grandmother by phone.

"You are not," she teased.

I laughed, but was surprised to find my eyes misting with tears. I'd been facing the prospect of not seeing her, not seeing my siblings, not seeing any of my family and friends or the land of my birth, until Christmas. I hadn't realized how much I was yearning for all of it until the moment I gave myself permission to go back.

"I'm so glad the trip fell through," I continued. "I didn't even really want to go. It just felt like the right thing for me professionally."

There may yet be another trip, a briefer one, that will replace my aborted equatorial junket, but I'll let you know about that when and if it happens. It, like its predecessor, is planned in the service of a career transition--that may or may not occur. 

I don't know much of what the future holds. But I know that, come May 25, I'm going home. Which is great for me, but will provide the readers of this blog and the followers of my Flickr page with dividends as well, in scenic photography if in nothing else. 

After all: Alaska is beautiful, but there's nothing like Virginia in summertime. 


Kelly said...

I, too, am a planner and a worrier. However, if life has taught me anything, it's that we really aren't in control. Thankfully, I've learned to loosen up and be more flexible. My faith in God helps with that, too.

But, hey... I still double check locks. That's the OCD coming out in me. (or that's what I tell myself!)

Jeff (Sage) said...

Enjoy your travels where ever they take you. I do plan, but am always ready for an impulsive trip. And I check and recheck what I have with me.

kylie said...

Going home might be just right for you. I hope you have a wonderful time.
As for your plans, a wise man once told me never to force anything. The right thing at the right time will come with ease

kylie said...

So I think that is what you are doing:not forcing

Connie said...

I am a planner and sometimes a worrier too, although the older I get, the more I try not to worry and just go where life takes me. There really is no place like home. I hope you have a nice trip home to Virginia.

Tanza Erlambang said...

welcome home to Virginia...….
Have a wonderful spring

Bob said...

I’m a little behind on my blog reading but wanted to go ahead and comment that I think your plans are splendid! Nothing like home to renew your spirit a bit and give you a fresh perspective. Good for you.

Practical Parsimony said...

I had sparse coverage on an 18-yr-old car, not full coverage. Well, someone his me and my insurance company I had been with for 30 years would not help me at all because I did not have full coverage. I was alone! Serendipity and opening junk mail led me to full coverage on the newer car I had to buy, and the cost was about two-thirds the cost of the other insurance and lesser coverage! So, in my opinion, full coverage is the way I will go forever!