Sunday, May 11, 2008

Journals Section: July, 2002

Still More Farm
Originally uploaded by BlackenedBoy

A note to readers:

This Journals Section is not complete, as I have yet to type up the rest of July, 2002. I will edit the entry once I go home later this week.

Get ready: in next week's entry I start high school!

July 2, 2002
At noon today the first half of 2002 will end and the second half will begin. My very last efforts to get to Uncle Nose-Hair’s for the 4th of July, which consisted of him trying to persuade my father to allow Powell and I to attend the Independence Day festivities, have failed. There is a small hope that Anne may be hospitalized by the 4th of July, but I’ve almost stopped hoping. We got our pool last week. Swimming in it has been insanely fun, especially because of the heat wave. Yesterday, our friends Short Boy, Lanky Girl, First Twin, Second Twin [the twins both boys], and Lacrosse Boy came over to go swimming, and we had a wonderful time. We played, using the tarp as our cave and as a giant floating couch. Unfortunately, it has a small hole in it. We’re not sure why, but of course, my parents made a huge deal over it. [Code began here] We all agree that they can be exceptionally stupid [Code ended here] Por ejemplo, el cuatro de julio. Mi papa dice que mi hermanito Powell y yo no podemos ir a la fiesta del Dia de Independencia de los Estados Unidos de America a la casa de mi Tio Nose-Hair en Depressing Town, Decaying State. Yo pienso que el no tiene razon con que el dice sobre este situacion. [Translation: For example, the 4th of July. My father says that my younger brother Powell and I cannot go to the Independence Day party at my Uncle Nose-Hair’s house in Depressing Town, Decaying State. I think that he’s being unfair with this situation] Oh, well. As I said, there is still hope, even if it is slim. One year ago I was in Decaying State living with Anne. I remember that she became exceptionally angry with me when I used an excess of fly spray to get rid of the numerous flies that plagued our home. A year ago today I was also looking forward—Oh, in War and Peace, Andrei has proposed to Natasha. But his father, Nikolai Bolkonsky, told him to postpone the wedding for a year. Nikolai Rostov has found out and does not like it either. Also, he may be in love with Sonya again. However, Countess Rostov wants him to marry Julie Karagina. Back in 1805, Sonya thought that Nikolai loved Julie, but her fears proved unfounded, and Nikolai still wishes to wed Sonya. The Rostov family is going bankrupt. The year is late 1809 or early 1810.

July 3, 2002
It is very early in the morning, around one o’clock. Also, in a surprising twist, Pierre has moved to Moscow and become a head in society. Helene is still in St. Petersburg. Also, Count Rostov, Natasha, and Sonya are visiting Moscow. Despite Countess Rostov’s disapproval, Nikolai has announced plans to marry Sonya. Also, Boris Drubetskoy, on the advice of his mother Anna Mikhailovna, has proposed to Julie Karagina. She accepted. Princess Maria and Nikolai Bolkonsky have moved to Moscow, and the old man has fallen in love with Mlle. Bourienne. In real life, we had a small dinner party today with the neighbors, and shortly afterwards Neighbor Mother and Lanky Girl left on a train bound for Aristocratic Southern City, Sprawling State, where Lanky Girl will be attending a Girl Scout event. Second Twin got mad because he couldn’t go swimming, and he and Powell nearly got into a fight. Also, Fat Boy, the timid fat boy from across the street, has taken to getting an attitude with me, which I don’t like. Perhaps he should go sell some Boy Scout cookies or something. [Code began here] Also, in a horrible series of events, a revolution has overthrown the Arian Empire. [Code ended here] Manana es el Dia de Independencia de los Estados Unidos de America. Mi papa piensa que los terroristas van a atacar los Etados Unidos en este Dia de Independencia. I hope night, and I pray almost every night for God to protect the United States. Oh, and in War and Peace, the year is 1811. Tomorrow Dad says that our friends may go swimming. It will be an awkward situation with Fat Boy, who has gained a disturbing amount of popularity in our little neighborhood society. I have tried to be nice to him, but he continues to act in an offensive way to me. I don’t know what to do about that situation, but I’m sure I’ll think of something. May God bless and protect the United States always.

Around eleven o’clock p.m.
The heat here is terrible. The temperatures have been in the high 90s, but it felt about 105F. I have become completely dependent on our air conditioning and the airspace inside the walls of our house. If I stay outside for more than a few minutes I have trouble breathing and I get sick. For the second time this week I got sick, this time in the middle of watching Little Blonde Neighbor Girl and Little Blonde Neighbor Boy, the neighbors’ children. We saw some small fireworks today. I can’t wait until tomorrow. [Code began here]] Tomorrow is Independence Day for the United States. [Code ended here] Manana es el ia de Independencia de los Estados Unidos de America, el cuatro de julio. Este ano, va a ser mas seguridad para el cuatro de julio, mas que todos los otros anos. We may go to see fireworks tomorrow. There is not a doubt in my mind that the terrorists will try something tomorrow. Whether or not they will succeed with all of the new security is a different matter. In War and Peace, Anatol Kuragin, son of Prince Vassili and brother of Elena Bezukhov, is flirting with Natasha Rostov, who is engaged to Prince Andrei Bolkonsky. The year is 1811. One year ago, on July 3, 2001, things were different. I was worried about tensions between my mother Anne and her idiot husband, and I was obsessed with trying to help Anne become independent from Idiot Man. I want absolutely nothing to do with them. Thank God I didn’t go and live there. Oh, I can’t wait for tomorrow!

July 4, 2002
Well, it’s nearing on eleven o’clock this morning, and no terrorist attacks yet. Today is the 226th anniversary of the birth of the United States. I suppose that if there are no attacks by tonight we’ll be in the clear, although my father has this idea in his head that they will attack tomorrow to catch us off guard. I’m not sure. For all I know he could be right, but I think it would be symbolic for the terrorists to attack today. Well, then again, my father is right. Our guard will be down tomorrow. But I’m sure that someone in the government has already thought of that possibility. We’re having Short Boy and Neighbor Father over today. Lanky Girl and Neighbor Mother would be joining us, but they are in Sprawling State right now. [Code began here] I hope that they enjoy their 4th of July. [Code ended here] Quiero para ellas tener un tiempo muy bueno en Sprawling State para el Dia de Independencia. Hoy es el dia de la fiesta para el cuatro de julio de mi Tio Nose-Hair. How I wish I were there. Oh, well. To dwell on it too long would cause me extreme melancholy, so I ought not to. Instead I’ll go to the bathroom and make myself presentable. Happy Independence Day! You know, when you think about it, Independence Day is so cool. The fact that 226 years ago to the day we went from being English Colonies to being the United States is amazing and wonderful. And unlike states like Movie State, Native State was an original colony. The Revolution was fought right here! It’s truly an astonishing holiday, and next to Christmas one of my favorites.

Around 10:40p.m.
It appears that I spoke too soon this morning. At around eleven o’clock (I’m not sure whether this was our time or Pacific Time) a man walked into Celebrity City International Airport in Movie State and opened fire, killing five people before being shot down by guards. The day here in Native State passed by in a mundane fashion, with dips in and out of the pool and a quaint barbecue. We then tried to go and see fireworks, but of course all the good spots were taken and the police had blocked off a number of roads that would have made for very nice views. They may have been worried about terrorism, but it is more likely that, as Neighbor Father put it, “They wouldn’t want you seeing them for free, would they?” Tomorrow we leave for Hick State. The next day is the Silver Jubilee party in Decaying State. Oh, the degradation. Oh, well. Hopefully we’ll go next year.

July 5, 2002
In War and Peace, Anatol Kuragin has professed his love to Natasha Rostov and Natasha has admitted to herself that she loves both Prince Andrei and Anatol. Sonya found a love letter from Anatol to Natasha and Sonya is most distressed. The year is 1811. In the real world, we leave for Hick State this afternoon. [Code began here] I am not looking forward to going to this state full of inbreeders and hicks. [Code ended here] No me gust air a Hick State porque de todos los personas en que lugar. Me gust air a Hick State solo cuando mi prima Idiot Cousin va con mis hermanitos y yo. I do not much enjoy Hick State. The society can be very disagreeable and there are almost no higher social circles. By higher, I mean sophisticated and civil. Many who frequent that state [Code began here] (such as my Aunt Lesbian) [Code ended here] do not fit into that category. It is still monstrously hot, and one good thing about going there is that it’s farther north, and therefore, cooler. Oh, no! It’s south! Perhaps the air will be cleaner, though.

It’s around 5:41p.m. We’re at an ice-cream shop in Southern State. I think that it’s very neat the way the state borders work. Why, we crossed a border into Southern State, then into Hick State, then back into Southern State. We are driving again and will soon cross back into Hick State. I’ve noticed that in both Hick State and Southern State the wealthier people live in the eastern parts of the states. This does not apply for all states, but definitely for the two I mentioned.

We’re here at Grand Ma and Grand Pa Hick Family’s home. We’ve entered the poverty-stricken West of the Eastern United States. Grand Ma and Grand Pa Hick are an exception to the majority of this region of the state. Their modest home hides their secure financial assets, and even this traditionally small and un-grand cottage tucked away in the mountains has modernized (some). The rickety old steps leading up to the porch have been replaced by a sturdy wooden ramp for my grandmother’s wheelchair with an adjoining staircase. From the staircase branches off a cement walkway instead of the random and uneven bits of metal that were there before. It is now quite charming in a quaint sort of way. Oh, no. My mother and grandfather are conversing in the pavilion and from my place on the hammock I can hear them quite clearly. My mother was weeping because of things that were said of her. My mother is the most successful of her siblings. In their jealousy I’ve heard them call her brainy and snobby and all sorts of terrible things. It hurts her very much. Also, I am hearing that tensions between my grandfather and father got quite high when my father purchased a considerable amount of alcohol when he came here, presumably while my mother thought he wasn’t drinking. There was a verbal confrontation between the two. I anxiously await to see how the two behave near each other so that I can determine whether or not tensions are still high. I should hope not, as I don’t want any embarrassing hostilities.

Although he may be upset with my father, Grand Pa seems well-disposed toward me at this time. My poor grandmother is wheelchair- and walker-bound. The ramp that she must go down to leave her house is very steep and she just nearly went flying headfirst out of her wheelchair when she reached the bottom. A few years ago I would have laughed a fit but now it’s just not something that you laugh at. I’m sure that Powell would think it was hilarious, though. We just had a charming little dinner, even though the sun hasn’t yet set. The view is so beautiful. The sun is partially covered by trees, but glorious streams of light come through. As the leaves wave about in the light wind, the patches of sunlight that are visible and not visible change every second, creating the illusion of sparkling trees. Oh! My father and Powell are here! Powell has gone to ride the four-wheeler while Dad, Mom, and Grand Pa have gone to look at the horses. I am going to go with them. It is too early to judge what is going on between my father and grandfather, but I sense potential for conflict. It is nearing nine o’clock, and Tall Cousin [a girl]’s mother, my Aunt Retard, is yelling for Tall Cousin to come in, saying, “Do you want me to come over there with a flyswatter?” Meaning of course that she will hit Tall Cousin with a flyswatter. Tall Cousin does not listen at all. This is ironically funny to me. The system of corporal punishment that these people hold so much confidence in and cherish so dearly to instill discipline has the opposite effect. I’m going to go see if I can find what my father is doing. He and my brother are not here and it is positively boring without them, which explains exactly why I’m writing so much in this journal.

We are out in our camper. It is so cozy in here, much more so than before. We now have air conditioning so that no bees can get in and it’s very cool in here. Also, there is a bit of forest separating this camper from the main grounds, throughout which are numerous deadly snakes. The only safe way to go from the main grounds to the camper in the summer is by four-wheeler or automobile. Pebbles (our dog) is here. She has been in Hick State for over a year and will be coming home soon. She is cuddling at the end of my little bed. Snickers (one of my fat cats) will love Pebbles. Scooby loved Pebbles, and Snickers and Scooby are very alike. Scooby died last year. The main grounds here include: the cottage, the barn, the garden, the field for the horses, the car garage, and the pavilion. Oh, wait, they also include Aunt Retard’s trailer. Well, I’m going to bed now.

July 6, 2002
Today is the day of the Silver Jubilee in Decaying State. I woke up with this on my mind and for a moment I was utterly depressed. Well, I still am really. [Code began here] Today is the day of the Silver Jubilee in Decaying State. I am not there. It is so terrible. [Code ended here] Hoy es el dia de la seguna fiesta grande a la casa de mi Tio Nose-Hair en Depressing Town, Decaying State. Pero no estoy a la fiesta, pero estoy aqui, en Hick State. Tambien, estoy muy triste porque de ese situacion. I remind myself over and over that God has His reason for everything and I try to console myself with that, but it doesn’t really seem to help. We will probably go home today, yet unless it is to go to Decaying State or something like that, I find myself not wanting to leave tonight. I have learned some things this morning, which I shall tell you later.

Here is what I have learned. My Aunt Ostentatious, my mother Marie’s sister, has recently been laid off. Her daughter, Idiot Cousin, has been close with Powell and I since childhood. When we were younger we would always argue about which family had more money and which was better. It seems that the Our family is now the most financially stable on my mother’s side. Uncle Schizophrenic is mentally retarded, Aunt Lesbian is a cleaning lady, Aunt Retard lives in a trailer, and Aunt Ostentatious was just laid off. Oh, poor Idiot Cousin, I do hope that they’ll be alright. As far as my father’s side goes, I think we’re all tied. Both Sweet Aunt, Tall Uncle, and my father have comfortable lifestyles. As far as my mother Anne is concerned, she is probably the most financially unstable person in the family, sharing that position with perhaps my Aunt Heroin Addict. The most financial families are tied between my Uncle Nose-Hair and Aunt Smugly-Superior. And there you have it, our “high society.” The upper middle class would be my Aunt Ostentatious and possibly my Aunt Weirdo-Who-I-Never-See. The middle or lower-middle class would be my Aunt Retard as well as some of Anne’s siblings, while the “lower class” would be Anne, Heroin Addict, Lesbian, and Schizophrenic. Okay, so, upper class: Us, Nose-Hair, Smugly-Superior, Sweet, Tall, Brilliant-But-Insane-Aunt-Who-Lives-Far-Away-Under-An-Assumed-Name-Of-Which-I’m-Not-Certain.
Upper Middle Class: Ostentatious
Middle or Lower-Middle Class: Retard, Weirdo, Uncle Undependable, Lesbian
Lower: Anne, Heroin Addict, Schizophrenic
I shall have to inform Powell, Annoyingly Perfect, and Innocent of this class system. I am sure they will be highly amused.

I’ve just eaten a “snowball” that Thomas and Tall Cousin (Aunt Retard’s youngest daughter) concocted for me. It was actually crushed ice covered in cherry Kool-Aid and orange soda. At first it tasted like liquid Smarties but soon became watery. Tall Cousin and Thomas presumed to charge me $10.00 for the snowball, but Thomas (who is by far smarter than Tall Cousin) lowered the price to $3.00. I don’t know if I shall even pay that. Uncle Nose-Hair has promised to make us all his delicious homemade ice-cream. How I wish I were there. I’m just so sad.

July 7, 2002
Tomorrow Powell and I must go back to camp, the camp that we have started calling “Camp Gay Gay.” We are both most upset over the matter. However, I know that I must go this week, because from noon to three o’clock I will be preparing for the Native State Functional Math Test. After this week is over I will take the test, which I have failed three times previously. If I do not finish, I mean, pass it, I will not be able to take Algebra I during my Freshman Year of high school. I would have to take Basic Mathematics instead, which would be both humiliating and would put a setback on my mathematics progress in high school. [Code began here] I need to study this week for the Native State Functional Math Test so that I can take the class Algebra I in high school [Code ended here]. Necesito estudiar este semana para un examen muy importante de matematicas, asi puedo tener la clase de Algebra I en la escuela de Beautiful Town High. I am looking forward to high school, but I also want to cherish the summer. In War and Peace, while in Moscow, Natasha Rostov has fallen in love with Anatol Kuragin, who was planning to take her to Poland. However, Sonya uncovered the plan and told Manya Dmitrievna (the Rostovs’ hostess in Moscow). Manya prevented it, and then called Natasha a “wretched girl” and a “shameless hussy!” Now, Natasha’s marriage with Prince Andrei is in serious jeopardy. The year is 1811. Ugh. For being so expensive I really don’t like the way that this pen writes. Lanky Girl and Neighbor Mother got back from Sprawling State today. They have both gotten their belly buttons pierced. I found this very funny, as Neighbor Mother is upwards of forty years old. Lanky Girl, Short Boy, Powell, Thomas, Annoying Ice Skater Girl, and I have started practicing to make a movie that we are calling “Harry Peters and the Sorcerer’s Bone.” I’m not sure if I just spelled “Sorcerer’s” right. I can’t wait to start filming. The end result promises to be hilarious.

July 8, 2002
In War and Peace the marriage between Natasha and Prince Andrei is over. Prince Andrei is heartbroken, even though he pretends not to be. Natasha is also devastated. Andrei has enlisted in the army and is chasing Anatol Kuragin around Europe. He also has recently visited Lisiya Gori, where he had his first major fight with his father, Prince Nikolai Bolkonsky. The fight was over the fact that Nikolai Bolkonsky places Mlle. Bourienne over his daughter, Princess Maria. The year is 1812. In the real world, First Twin, Second Twin, and Lacrosse Boy came over and went swimming today, and we had a grand time. Last night Lacrosse Boy spent the night over First Twin’s house. How I long for August, when I can do such things on weekdays. The bus for Camp Gay Gay never came today, and so we didn’t have to go. But I did go to my study thing from circa 12:30 to three o’clock. It has been relatively easy so far. I find myself wishing desperately to go to Russia. When I begin in high school I will inquire as to the foreign exchange student program. Now, where would I stay, Moscow (Moskva, as the Russians call it) or St. Petersburg (Sankt-Petersburg)? [Code began here] I want to go to Russia, but I’m not sure which city I would stay in, Moscow or St. Petersburg. [Code ended here] Yo quiero ir a la nacion de Rusia, pero yo no se en que cuidad voy a vivir en uando estoy in Rusia. I’m going to go out now, to see if some of my friends will engage me in a game of Run-Down.

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