Monday, October 6, 2008

Two Years Ago

Ponytail Severed

Two years ago today, on October 6, 2006, I walked into a hair cuttery, sat down, and instructed the woman on duty to cut off my seventeen-inch ponytail. Two days later, on October 8th, I shaved my head.

It's amazing how much has changed in two years. I'd like to think I've grown (both literally and figuratively) in the time since then. I'm not even writing about this to be negative; it's simply what happened, a part of my story, and it is what it is.

With that in mind, though, I am going to stop, at least for the near future, posting entries here regarding the things that went on in my childhood. While recent events have thrown those incidents into my face once again and made me confront them, constantly articulating my anger and reliving the trauma is self-damaging.

Those things, along with other things, can be worked out in therapy. I still feel weak, somehow less of a person, by admitting so publicly that I need this. It is what it is, though.

My relationship with my parents is something that may never fully be worked out. For the time being, I'm stuck with them for financial reasons. After graduation, I have no idea what our interactions will be like.

Some days in life are better than others. Yesterday and today, beautiful pieces of October with scarlet trees and with leaves falling like golden rain, have lifted my spirits.

I am actively looking for a job, which I hope will aid me in meeting new people, saving more money, and generally making me more satisfied with my life. Wish me luck--with the current market, I will need it.

In the meantime, I have a midterm and a paper outline tomorrow for separate classes. Tonight I will be very busy.

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