Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Extremely Intoxicated

As I write this, I am, I shall confess, rather under the influence of intoxicating liquors. Or, rather, just alcohol. I've had vodka and lots and lots of beer.

Bisexual Boy, damn him and his pseudonym, wasn't even there, in spite of the fact that I picked out a cute tee-shirt and shorts, and that I practically got naked (down to my boxers) out on Sacagawea's front porch.

I'm proud of myself, for even in my state of advanced drunkeness, I still keep up the cloak of secrecy that hides mine and my friends' and family's identity. What if I were to just tell you who I am right now?

My name is BB, and I weigh 125lbs, and I just showed up at a party and drank way too much, and there were no gay guys, and the straight redneck guys called me a faggot. That made me sad and hurt my feelings. I can't help being gay.

Homophobia is a negative and destructive emotion, even for someone who can barely sit up straight, let alone be straight. When they called me a faggot, I gave them the finger and told them to fuck themselves. I'm gay and that's all there is to it and anyone who doesn't like it can go away and leave me alone.

I LIKE THE COCK.

Sorry.

Tonight I kissed some girls, even though I want to kiss some boys. Sometimes when you're at a party you do silly things.

I saw some breasts tonight, breasts that were shown to me in the full knowledge of my homosexuality. I have to go to bed very soon. It turns out I'm leaving for my grandmother's tomorrow, not Wednesday.

Oh gay people (specifically, gay, hot, skinny boys who are like me), where are you?

5 comments:

Sally-Sal said...

I like the cock, too.

Let me say something BB.

Redneck men will always be threatened by you.

Part of it is because you know exactly who you are. Part of it is because they think you might in some way be attracted to them.

My best guy friend is gay, and one of the things I've told countless redneck boys is this:
Gay boys will NEVER be attracted to you, trailer trash, because unlike slutty girls under the influence of cheap beer, gay boys have good taste.
'Nough said.
Love you, BB.

otherworldlyone said...

What Sal said. ;)

My friend went all through high school pretending to be straight....got called names and picked on anyway. He finally came out to me about 2 years ago. The change in him was drastic. While what straight guys say to him may sometimes hurt his feelings, he's happier than he's ever been...because he's being honest.

People that make fun of your sexuality aren't comfortable with their own.

James said...

Hi BB,

I only found your blog tonight, and i read through the entire thing. You have real skill in writing, and i hope you manage to find a good job using it. I've added you to my favourites and i hope you keep posting for quite a while, and you elaborate on your unusual/unique sense of supernatural quote. I'm glad that your writing can (at least appear) to provide for an outlet for your emotions/depression.

As for the rednecks - even though i'm 1/2 a world away and a gay-bi guy, Sally-Sal's comment is completely true. There will always be people out there who cant comprehend sexuality properly and realise that it doesnt matter who its with, providing its consensual, and loving (even if for a one night stand).

Woozie said...

I love this post! The vodka, the finger, the COCK, the everything!

Let me be the first to commend you for managing to be able to type while very drunk. It's a rare skill, something I can't even hope to dream of.

I hope you're not hungover.

Cheryl said...

Even intoxicated, you're a really entertaining writer. Your posts remind me of This American Life stories, unpredictable, honest and at times painful but always funny.