Saturday, September 3, 2011

Afterward

I guess everyone has some pretty black moments, moments where they need to purge. I'm sorry if my post last night unnerved anyone. My attitude is this: I come here to say what I can't say in real life. I needed to be that brutally honest somewhere. So I did it here.

Now that I've owned openly to that awful thing, I just want to grab some food, listen to some music, and drive to Mountain Town for a long weekend at home.

Admitting your worst weaknesses is a bit like vomiting: you want to explode with pain while you're doing it, but once it's over you're relieved.

5 comments:

laura b. said...

Your blog is a great place to be completely honest. And as I said in my last comment, sometimes you can do it a bit in real life and people are beautiful in the ways they are willing to help :-)

Brigindo said...

Your honesty, self-awareness, and writing talents are all wonderful assets. I hope you find peace with your condition and your childhood traumas. If the blog helps you get there, it is more than worth it.

Anonymous said...

Good analogy and perhaps why I don't like being so open...I hate vomiting and will do everything I can to not.

As for your other post....As a wife of someone with abusive parents, I am so sorry. I want nothing more than for my husband to have the love he deserves, knowing he won't get it. I wish that the same could be provided for you, but fully understand that you can't make parents be who they should. -RL

naturgesetz said...

I'm glad posting gave you relief.

Hang in there.

You're wonderful.

*hugs*

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

I just went back and read last night's post. I won't begin to say that I know how you feel. I find it insulting to say that to someone, but I will tell you this: I also have lived with something that has affected every moment of my life since I was very young. I hid it for years from everyone except my family (who didn't make fun of me, but also didn't understand it). I didn't want anyone to know that was different somehow and I have often questioned why I just couldn't be "normal" like everyone else. Somewhere around 30, I got tired of hiding it, tired of making excuses and I set myself free. I started talking openly to friends and sometimes even strangers. You know what? I didn't lose a single friend. I also learned that many more people than you know struggle with something. I am actually able to help others now. More importantly, while I still have the same issues, at least I don't have the stress of the "secret".

Do I wish I could be "normal"? Sure. But guess what, there really is no normal. You learn that the older you get. Do I wish I could be different? Yes, I do. Do I have a full and happy life "in spite of". I do and hopefully you can too.